The Culture of Silence Is Not a Culture. It Is a Wound — And We Can Heal It.
There is a conversation I have had so many times it no longer surprises me. A young woman — 16, 18, 22, it does not matter — sits across from me and tells me about something that was done to her. Then she tells me how long she stayed quiet about it. Months. Sometimes years. When I ask her why she did not speak, she almost always gives the same answer: ‘I did not think anyone would listen.’ That answer breaks something in me every time. And it is the reason GEAN exists.
We call it the culture of silence, but I want to challenge that framing. Culture implies something chosen, something passed down with pride, something that belongs to a people. Silence is not something Nigeria’s girls chose. It is something that was imposed on them — by households that told them their discomfort was an exaggeration, by communities that prioritised reputation over safety, by systems that were never built to hear them in the first place. Silence is not a culture. It is a wound with very old stitches.
What I have learned from years of working with girls across Nigeria is that the desire to speak is almost always there. What is missing is the belief that speaking is safe. That is the gap GEAN is built to close. Our mentorship programmes are not just about career guidance or self-development — they are about creating the conditions where a girl experiences being heard, perhaps for the first time. That experience changes something in her that no workshop or training alone can reach.
The research on this is unambiguous. Girls who have at least one trusted adult relationship are significantly more likely to report abuse, to complete their education, to resist early marriage, and to become leaders in their communities. The variable is not resources — it is a relationship. Which means that one of the most powerful things we can do for a girl in Nigeria right now costs very little money and requires only one thing: showing up and listening consistently enough that she starts to believe you will be there.
This is why I am asking you — whoever you are reading this — to think about what your showing up could look like. You do not have to start an NGO. You can mentor one girl in your family, your church, or your community. You can support an organisation like GEAN that is already creating these spaces at scale. You can advocate for policies that fund girls’ counselling and legal support in schools and community centres. The culture of silence was built brick by brick. We dismantle it the same way — one relationship, one voice, one moment of being truly heard at a time.
GEAN’s work is not finished. It has barely begun. But I have seen what happens when a girl who was silent for years finds her voice — and I can tell you, it is not quiet. It is the loudest, most beautiful, most necessary sound in the world. We owe it to her to keep building the spaces where that sound can rise.
